When you become a Mom it’s all really beautiful and rewarding and all that. Your children are, after all, perfect. They ask you to read them a book and you all curl up on the couch for a cuddle. Your husband gazes at you admiringly and tells you you’re the best Mom in the whole world. You feel like the center of their universe. You were born to do this.
No, not every day is like this.
For example my day last Friday, when I started to wonder if being the Mom also means that I’m dead last in the hierarchy of fulfilling each family member’s needs. Sometimes that’s ok… But sometimes that doesn’t feel very good.
I have great hair (see here and here)…. But not when it’s been five months since I’ve been to a hair salon (see here). When I visit my hairstylist it takes about three hours, but usually because I’m a chatty Cathy. (Hey, Beth? ;) ) I really enjoy these visits because they’re about me. It’s complete and utter luxury. My salon serves great coffee and will order in from the restaurant downstairs. I’m sure if I asked for a glass of wine I could get it. Add to that the head massage during the rinse and the fact that, for some reason, I don’t have to do a thing with my hair for four days after and it still looks great… Oooooh, how I love it.
Why the five month salon absence? We’ve been busy. We still are. Did I mention my husband is a grad student in his last semester, madly trying to complete a thesis before I go into labour in seven weeks? Did I mention I have two rambunctious boys that I just barely have the energy for at 33 weeks pregnant and am trying to keep it all together while my husband is… well, see above.
I tried to ignore the five inches of regrowth at the roots and two inches of dry frizz at the ends… But it wasn’t pretty. Then one day a few weeks ago, after booking a maternity/family photo shoot (my first EVER and, incidentally, my LAST ever, and something I was ADAMANT was going to be happening before I even got pregnant for my third time, ranty rant rant rant!) I called and made an appointment to see Beth. I then asked my husband who said it would be fine, he could be home early that day. I was overjoyed. I thought about it day and night. Especially when my children were clawing at my legs while I cooked supper. Then finally, the day arrived.
At two hours till go time, I hadn’t heard from my husband or gotten a response to any of my casual “heeee-eeey, we still ok for that hair appointment?” texts. I was starting to worry.
At thirty minutes till go time there was still nothing from my husband and no answer to my calls. And so:
I was fighting tears but remaining hopeful. I wrote on Facebook “giddy like a little school girl for my hair appointment in thirty minutes. It’s been five months… Why? Because that’s life with kids all my kid-less friends!” (I know, slight bitterness there at the end. You can almost hear my crazy cackle, can’t you?)
I imagined all my kid-less friends visiting the hair salon like it’s nothing, and also stopping at the spa for a manicure and pedicure too. Oh, and shopping by themselves. Or shopping, period I should say. And sleeping in. And complaining about being bored. C’mon. You’ve imagined this too!!
Twenty-five minutes till go time. Phone rings and it’s him: “I’m so sorry, this and this and this came up but I WILL be home in half an hour.” Ok, ok, ok, I can still make it. Blood pressure lowers.
2:50PM standing at the door with my shoes and bag. Nothing.
3:00PM I text “are you on your way?” Nothing.
3:05PM text my sister “WAAAA-AAAAAAAAH I can’t ever do anything, is a simple hair appointment every five months too much to ask?!? A fucking haircut?!? WAAAAA-AAAAAH!”
Then at 3:15PM my husband is dashing up the walk shouting apologies, but I barely hear him as I’m dashing down the walk, shouting “I’m late!”
The whole drive to the appointment I’m sniffling. I know the time constraints in my life right now are due to a combination of having young children and a husband in grad school… I know it won’t always be this way… I know I’m acting childish and silly and there are BIGGER PROBLEMS in the world… But I’m still sniffling. Because I just feel so utterly LAST all the time.
I made it to my hair appointment half an hour late, but of course the lovely Beth still took me and I’m sure had to stay late because of it. I had the experience I was dreaming of. It was total bliss. My hysteria and self-pity melted away. I got my Angelina Fix. I got my coffee fix. I got my girl power fix. When Beth was done I looked in the mirror and felt fabulous.
But you know what the best part of my day was? When I got home I walked through the front door and got to experience what my husband does on a daily basis (because I’m so rarely away from our children):
And the pitter-patter of little feet running towards me. My four-year old and twenty-month old came running around the corner and threw themselves in my arms. “We missed you Mom!” Sam cried.
Ok… Roots or no roots… Haircuts or no haircuts…
This is the life. :)