Today we were getting dressed after swimming at the pool and my son asks “Mommy why do your boobies hang so low?”
Um, because I’ve had two children, had milk swell my breasts beyond recognition, then lost all my baby weight, TWICE, and am now pregnant with my third. How about a little appreciation you stupid jerk? Just kidding. That’s what I would say if his Dad asked me, not him.
PS – if your reading this Jon, you better just keep that little question to yourself! ;)
I know my son is just curious. He’s almost four after all. So… how to explain this to a not-quite-four year old?
And, to clarify, my boobies do not hang that low. They’re just lower than my son’s boobies. And lower than when I was 21. And lower at 35 weeks pregnant than when I was not pregnant. They’re not dangling on the floor or anything. Sheesh!
Then: “Why are they so red?”
Again… What? Does he mean my nipples? And by red does he mean pink?
“Sam, Mommy’s boobies are different than yours. Everyone’s boobies are a little bit different.”
Should I be calling them boobies?
“But they’re so big. Why are they so big?”
I burst out laughing. Oh boy. I maybe shouldn’t have but these things happen.
So I told him the truth: “women have boobies to attract the attention of men.”
Just kidding! I DID NOT say that. But I’m sure in about ten years this is exactly what my son will think they’re for. Although there are some theories to support this.
But since I’m having a baby very soon and Sam will naturally be curious about the breastfeeding process, I thought I better use this as a learning opportunity.
“Mommy’s have bigger boobies to feed their babies. When we have our baby in a couple weeks Mommy will have milk in them for the baby. Boys and girls and Mommies and Daddies have different body parts and that’s ok.”
“Oh.” Sam is very thoughtful.
I hurriedly dress before other body parts start coming up. Like my “Giant.” Yes this is what my almost-four year old calls a vagina, no matter how many times I correct him. And NO, I do not have a giant vagina.
So what do you think? Did I handle that well? That topic hasn’t come up in the parenting manual my first son came with so I’m a little unsure. ;)